Have been back from Australia for almost a month already. Everyday I am doing nothing more than watching drama series & movie, sleeping and eating. I do not feel there is anything wrong with it except that I do understand that it is totally a waste of time. I feel like updating my blog more often but I don't know why I could not load blogspot log in page using my own computer. Ended up using my dad's computer with no Chinese typing inside. 

Within this month, I've made few major decisions for myself. It may sound major to me but not to any others because I think I may not be able to bear with the consequences with my state of mind now. I am not mentally strong enough. However, since I have chosen to do so, I should have faith in myself. Sometimes, I feel so bad about myself when I have low self-esteem and not confidence enough with my own ability. I always try to see the intrinsic value stored inside those surrounding me, but not to myself. Like what others told me, I should feel satisfied with what I have got with me now. 

Honestly speaking, I feel so blessed now. First reason, I am still alive with a healthy body and mind. Second, I have friends and family that I love and love me. From everyday news, I realized God can take away any life if they wish to and we must be prepared for that moment to come anytime. So, I always come back with an aim, which is to spend as more time as possible with my parents and second only friends. That would at least make me bear with my life now, especially the loss of freedom. No KL no Penang unless with those they know well. Cannot go out later than 12am. Otherwise, phone would be keep ringing ringing and ringing. Then nagging will come along when I reach home. Oh-my-gosh, I am already 21 this year. What they want me to do, i suppose, is to sit at home everyday, waiting for them to come back. The best thing is, I can get my favorite dishes served on the table everyday for me. Since I evaluate food more than freedom, so no choice but to bear.

Have been following Dawn Yang's blog recently. She is so pretty and her face looks like little mermaid, the very girlish cartoon that I used to watch when I was young. Knowing her as a plastic lady does not help in reducing my impressiveness on her beauty at all. Nowadays, surgery and make up are no more a big deal. Guys are demanding more from girls and girls and demanding more from themselves too. Sometimes I feel so bad about guy's request. They want their girlfriend to be naturally pretty even with no make up is on. But, boys are selfish. They never try to understand that the reasons behind their girls' make-up is to show their best side to their boy when girls understand that guys are vision animals and there are tons of pretty girls outside. Those boys never try to understand that make up would harm girls' natural skins conditions. Girls are willing to endure these those bad consequences, yet, those selfish boys just know how to place their butt on the cot, waiting to be fed visually like a baby. Want all the world to stop make-up? The day will reach when the guys stop being the vision animals, which is highly likely to be impossible.