I wish...

For love

someone said

" if it happens, 

great, 

and if it doesn't,

well, just deal with it."

People say

people in love have a certain 'glow' about them

Yea

I remembered I had it too

but it was once upon a time

when we were first confirming each other

when we were on the phone for hours

when we were holding hands walking through towns

that was also when missing you became the worst part of my life

Loving him

is exactly same like sitting myself in a small speedboat in the center of the ocean

experiencing both high and low tides of a love story

Regret?

I will never say it out

what I can say is he indeed has enriched my life

Saying "I love you"

is an easy job for an English man

just like a click of hand

for Asian

it is like a big stone stuck in his mouth

those words just don't come out

But you said it to me

and I loved to hear that

very very much

from you

cause those do bring a special meaning to you and me

But just by saying that does not bring any meaning without further actions to prove it

A friend of mine replied to me

loving someone can be simple

yes, he is right

but that happens only when you meet the right one

who will lead you to the ending of a fairy tale

live happily ever after 

It has been 2 years

and 

It has been a year

I wanted to love you

even when I did not know who you really are

And when I did

I even want to love you more

Love you as who you are

But loving you is indeed not an easy job for me

you,

without your realization

 are building thousands and thousands obstacles for me to go through

I have been gone through one by one

with my heart aching

with my tears shedding

and yet,

there are still thousands to go

I thought I can prove myself wrong

but obviously I am already wrong when I first in-placed that thought

I hope you can prove me wrong

that you are different from the ordinary man that I've met

I hope you can prove me wrong 

I really do

but obviously you are not into it

Every night

no matter here or there

I always make sure there is roll of tissues readily available for me

Ever since you make yourself into my life

my life has gone into a misery

it is sweet when it does

but

it is really fucking sucks when it does

my effort will not holds me long
I know that
and I hope you know it too

I wish one day

 you can come to this

and realize how much you have hurt me 

I wish one day 

I could tell you

you are making me sick

I wish one day 

you will realize

you did nothing to keep your promise

I wish one day 

you will come to me and say

you have my back 

no matter what happen

before it doesn't.